Let's face it, birthday parties are a big part of a child's social life. But for children with food allergies, birthday parties can be a potentially dangerous event. Despite the fact that my children both have multiple food allergies, I feel strongly that they should be able to go to birthday parties. Therefore, I do everything within my power to ensure that my daughters can safely attend birthday parties. To do this requires some extra work on my part with both pre-party planning and following food allergy safety strategies at birthday parties.
My first rule of thumb is that I never expect a party hostess to cater to my children's food allergies. Some people are inexperienced with food allergies and food allergy safety. People may also find it intimidating to try to feed a food allergic child. I respect these feelings and believe it is my job to ensure my children's safety. There are ocassions when a party hostess has gone above and beyond to serve allergy friendly food that my daughters can eat. Those experiences are rare and wonderful gifts to our family.
Dairy Free and Egg Free Birthday Cake
Below are the strategies I have developed to allow my food allergic children to safely attend birthday parties.
PRE-PARTY PLANNING:
Talk to your child about your food allergy safety rules before attending a birthday party. I always remind my children about our safety rules before we go to a birthday party. Your child is never too young to start talking to them about food allergy safety. I believe that if your child is old enough to speak, he or she is old enough to listen and understand basic party rules. My food allergy safety party rules are as follows:
- Don't eat anything before asking either Mom or Dad if it is okay. It is very important to tell your children to only ask Mom or Dad if they can eat something. I learned this one the hard way. My daughter Lauren, who has a dairy allergy, once ate a cheese curl at a party and immediately threw up all over Daddy. When I talked to her about it, she told me that she had asked the nearest adult and they had told her that she could eat the cheese curls. Unfortunately, that well meaning adult was not aware of Lauren's dairy allergy. We were lucky Lauren's allergic reaction was not more severe!
- Never eat food off another person's plate.
- Never take food from anyone but Mom or Dad.
- All goodie bag contents, prizes and pinata candy need to be checked by Mom or Dad before your child handles the candy.
Bring a cupcake, brownie or favorite allergy friendly treat to the birthday party for your child to eat in place of the birthday cake. I recommend keeping a supply of those allergy friendly cupcakes, brownies, etc. in your freezer. I simply take a cupcake out of the freezer the day before the birthday party and let it thaw out. When the cupcake has thawed, I frost and decorate the cupcake. If your child is old enough, you can let them decorate their own cupcake.
Bring your own cupcake to a birthday party if your child has food allergies
Ask the birthday party hostess what other foods will be served at the party in addition to cake or cupcakes. After inquiring about the party menu, you can plan to bring allergy friendly alternatives to the party for your child to eat. If there will be a meal at the party, then you can bring a substitute allergy friendly meal. When chosing what meal substitute to bring for your child, please keep in mind whether you will have access to a microwave at the party.
Bring a variety of your child's favorite snacks to a birthday party. I always assume there won't be anything that my children can safely eat at parties. Even if there are allergy safe snacks at a party, there is still the risk of other children having allergens on their hands and then sticking their hands into snack bowls.
Stash a few allergy friendly candies in your bag to bring along to the party. Birthday parties are notorious for offering candy to party guests. Pinatas are popular at children's parties and they are often stuffed with candy, most of which may be unsafe for your food allergic child. Goodie bags are also often full of candy. If your child receives candy at a birthday party that they are allergic to, you can quickly swap that candy for a safe allergen free candy.
Bring your own candy to a birthday party if your child has food allergies
Bring your own soap or wipes for your child to wash their hands. Believe it or not, some soaps contain common allergens such as milk or wheat. There could also be a contact reaction to be concerned about if other people are using the soap and and have allergens on their hands when they dispense the soap.
Always be prepared for possible allergic reactions. Remember to bring your child's Epi-Pen as well as Benadryl, hydrocortisone cream, inhalers for asthma, wipes and any other medications that your child needs in the event of an allergic reaction.
AT THE PARTY:
Check buffet tables for foods your child is allergic to. If your child is very young, you may want to ask the party hostess to move any foods with allergens in them to a safer spot where your child can not reach those foods.
You can point out the foods that your child can safely eat on the buffet table, if your child is old enough to understand. Whether you let your child eat any food served at a party will depend on the severity of your child's food allergies.
When it is time for your child to sit down at a table to eat, make sure no well meaning adult puts a piece of cake or other food your child is allergic to on their plate. The easiest way I have found to ensure no allergens end up on my child's plate is to put the food or cake that I brought from home on their plate right away. Preventing food from being placed on your child's plate is especially important if your child is very young. A young child may either eat or stick their finger in any food placed on their plate.
Check all pinata candy prizes that your child receives and discard all the unsafe candy. Replace the discarded candy with the allergy friendly candy that you brought to the party. Please note that depending on the severity of your child's food allergies, it may be advisable to skip pinata activities and simply give your child some of your allergy safe candy.
Check goodie bag contents as well before your child even puts their hand in the bag. Again, trade all unsafe candy with your own allergy friendly candy.
Do not be afraid to ask another child to wash their hands if they have food all over their hands that your child is allergic to. My daughter's both have contact reactions to dairy products so this situation commonly arises at many parties.
And of course, make sure to supervise your children closely especially if they are young.
What tips do you have for safely taking your food allergic child to a birthday party?
With proper planning, your food allergic child can safely attend birthday parties
